Self-Evaluation

I need some honest self-appraisal
There are things that I must see
Before I can respect sincerely
This person that is me.

Courageous self-evaluation
May help me to define
My own lack of motivation
As the problem that is mine,

Instead of blaming another -
Brother's problems, childhood fear,
Possessiveness of mother,
Or a dad who could not hear;

Maybe not just domination
Of parental love unwise,
But my emotional dependence
Could be where the failure lies.

Is my lack of self-assurance
Basic inefficiency?
Or could it be evasion
Of responsibility?

Can it be I am projecting
Some of my anxiety,
Making myself too protective
Of my own family?

Only when my real short-comings
Do I really see and know,
Can I find true self-assurance;
Then begin to change and grow.

Sure, it is a painful process,
And a slow delivering,
But the birth-pangs are o'ershadowed
By the new emerging me.

Now the picture's not all dismal,
For I know that I can find
Some good positive potential
In recesses of my mind.

And the future can be rosy
Only as I make it to be;
If I'm honest in the present,
Then the rest is up to me.

And where I need assistance,
More strong each day to be,
I know my Heavenly Father
Is here to walk with me.

His positive evaluation
Has already been done,
Because for my salvation
He gave His only Son.

By: Honoria (Nora) A. Groves